The post partum period can be a very stressful time. You may not be feeling well. This combined with lack of sleep adds to the stress. Between juggling the kids and trying to keep the house clean, you may feel overwhelmed.
It can feel nearly impossible to find the time to do everything you need to do and take care of yourself at the same time. Since having my fourth baby, I’m lucky if I get a shower before late afternoon. It’s important to try to find time for you. It’s not selfish; you will be a better mother if you take care of mom as well as the baby.
One of the biggest causes of stress is trying to do everything. Don’t be afraid to get help. If possible, have your husband help out around the house. Create a schedule and assign tasks to each member of the family. If you have other children, let them pitch in. If you can afford it, hire a cleaning lady to come in at least once or twice a month to do the heavy cleaning you can’t do.
Help from family and friends disappears quickly, so you need to come up with a long term plan. The most important thing is to let go of the Better Homes and Gardens expectations. I tell my husband that the house is “clean underneath the clutter” from the kids playing all day.
It’s important to take time for yourself. If you can afford it, hire a babysitter to come in once a week to give you a few hours for you. If you can’t afford it, call grandma. Trade babysitting time with another mother who needs time alone too. You can take her child one afternoon and she can take yours the next.
During your time alone, do whatever makes you feel happy. Take a walk around the mall and browse in your favorite stores. Visit a museum or have lunch with a friend. If you can’t find a babysitter, hand the baby over to Daddy one night each week. Fill the bathtub and take a glass of wine in with you. Soaking in the warm water is very relaxing.
Exercise is great for relieving stress and for helping to shed the baby weight. Join a gym or take an exercise class. Many gyms offer child care with the price of your membership. If you hate the gym, take a walk with the baby every day. Put the baby in a sling or stroller and take a walk. The fresh air is good for both of you.
Be sure to find time to spend alone with your spouse. In the early weeks and months, couples often feel disconnected. Take some time to reconnect. If possible, find someone to watch the baby once a week or even once a month while you have a date night. If you can’t do this, have a romantic dinner after the kids go to bed. It may seem difficult to schedule, but it will be worth it. The time you spend on your marriage will benefit the baby and you.