Are you trying to predetermine your child’s choices and interests? That’s something I see happening in families. It’s something I’ve had happened in my life. When I was going into high school I had a choice. I could either take geography or history. My mother convinced me to take geography because she hated history. I did and have regretted it ever since. That’s one case but it happens all the time.
Then there’s the young girl who was forced to learn ballet and play the piano when she had no interest or aptitude for either. Friends of ours were adamant their sons would never play football, because they hated it. The first thing the boys both did when they were both old enough to make their own decisions, they rebelled and played football.
When our children were young we let them try a few different things and then participate in sports and musical activities that interested them. So our son played cricket even though Mick and I both hate cricket. But he played and we dutifully went and watched the games. Our daughter played netball, which we knew nothing about and again we went and supported her.
But parental control doesn’t stop there. Some parents even try and pick their child’s career. They want them to follow in their footsteps, or sometimes it’s that they want them to achieve the dream they were unable to. There are lots of areas where parents attempt to determine their children’s choices.
It’s bad enough as parents that we try and control our child’s likes and dislikes, but it happens in marriage too. It starts right at the wedding planning stage. Too often it is all about one person, usually the bride and what she and her family want, rather than what the groom wants. I get sick of people who say, ‘It’s the bride’s special day.’ Last I heard it was the groom’s wedding too. He should have as much say in what happens.
Too often though, the bride and sometimes her family decide how many guests, what everyone will wear including the groom and best man, where the reception will be held and sometimes even the honeymoon as well. It certainly doesn’t start the marriage off on the right foot if one person is making all the decisions.
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