A traumatic birth experience can cause some women to resist getting pregnant again. Some women get over a bad birth experience quickly. Others suffer emotional distress for months or even years after the birth of their babies. When these women do get pregnant again, they worry right away that this time will be just like last time.
If you are pregnant and your last birth was traumatic, you can heal and have a much different experience this time. The first step is to figure out exactly what was traumatic about the experience. Write down what was difficult about the birth and how you want to change things this time around.
Talk to your doctor about your last birth. Often, a birth with many interventions is traumatic for the mother. In some cases, interventions during birth are absolutely necessary for the health of the baby and the mother. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes doctors are very quick to intervene for fear of being sued. The only way to determine the truth in your case is to have a conversation with the doctor.
Discuss the interventions used in your birth. Make it clear to your doctor that you want to avoid another experience like the last. Be specific about the things you don’t want this time, such as epidural, episiotomy, pitocin or any other intervention you wish to avoid.
Pay close attention to your doctor’s reaction. This will help you decide if you want to use this provider again. You aren’t married to your doctor and certainly don’t need to stay with the practice this time. If he blows you off or makes light of your concerns, this is a sign that you need to make a change. Some doctors are very medically oriented and see birth as a medical event that needs interventions. If this doesn’t fit with your beliefs, switch doctors and don’t look back!
Keep in mind that one intervention often leads to many others. This happened with my second birth. The epidural slowed my contractions to a crawl. Then they needed to give me pitocin. Then the pain got bad, so they increased the pain medication through the epidural. This slowed the progress even further. Too much medication made pushing difficult and they needed to use the vacuum to help her out. It all could have been avoided without the epidural.
If you decide to switch to another doctor, it’s important to find someone who has a similar philosophy about birth. Interview a few doctors before making a choice. If you want a completely natural experience, interview a few midwives too. Births with midwives result in far fewer interventions than births attended by physicians.
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