Yesterday, I introduced the topic of preparing a child for a trip to the dentist. I talked about how to explain the facts and take away the mystery of what is going to happen by being as honest and open as possible. Another element in preparing a child for a trip to the dentist—even a child who has been before—is to give them the opportunity to ask questions and express their own fears and anxieties.
For a child to truly be prepared for something unsettling but inevitable, I think that he needs to have a chance to talk through concerns and anxieties in a safe setting. This can be a tricky thing for a parent to do since we want to encourage them to open up without leading or influencing what they say. They need to be allowed to express themselves openly. For a young child, this may mean playing or coloring as a way of releasing concerns. You can “play dentist” with your child and his or her dolls and see what comes up. Young children often project their own worries onto a favorite toy or stuffed animal and it might not be obvious that it is a fear about going to the dentist at first. Mom or dad will need to be astute and pay attention to the cues.
For an older child, I do think we can ask them. I STILL ask my teens and they have had plenty of experience with the dentist (and know their dentist really well since she has been with us for years): “Do you have any concerns about going to the dentist tomorrow?” or “Do you have any questions or want to talk about your dentist appointment tomorrow?” This simple question invites them to share their concerns without pressure. I have also tried using myself as a conversation starter: “When I was a kid, I hated the way that gritty polish tasted and the feeling of that sucking tube in my mouth! I didn’t mind the drill as much as I hated that tube!” Just sharing something personal can open up the conversation and help a child to air his concerns.