A new baby is an exciting time, but can be disruptive to the family routine. Younger children and toddlers may feel these changes most dramatically. Jealousy is very common and can be the result of the loss of attention. Some toddlers adjust easily to this change, but for many it can be difficult. Your little one may engage in attention getting behaviors, become demanding or cry easily. By preparing your child and taking some steps to help her adjust, you can help avoid some of the feelings that cause these changes in behavior.
While you are pregnant, you will most likely be preparing for the new baby. Let your child help in some of these preparations. Your child can help you set up the baby’s room or pick out the decor. Take her shopping with you and let her choose a special outfit or toy for the new baby.
Read stories about babies to help prepare other children. There are many books available on the subject. Some are funny, such as “I’d Rather Have an Iguana” by Heidi Stetson Mario and “Arthur’s New Baby” by Mark Brown. Read the stories and talk about how the characters’ lives changed. Talk about how Arthur and DW felt about the new baby.
Sibling classes are offered at many hospitals. These classes teach children about babies and help them know what to expect when the new baby comes. Dolls are used to help children learn how to hold a new baby. At the end of the class, your child may get a surprise, such as a new T Shirt or certificate.
Keep your child’s routine as normal as possible in the weeks before and after the delivery. This will help with adjustment. If you will be making major changes, such as a new bed or room, do this months before the baby arrives. This will help your child adjust to the new arrangements without seeing the new baby as the cause. This time is not the best for major changes, such as a move, potty training or a new day care provider.
When you come home from the hospital, make it a point to spend some time with your other kids. Hand the baby over to Dad or Grandma while you do a craft, read or just snuggle with your child. The new baby will likely receive gifts over the next few weeks. You could buy a gift for your older child from the baby. I kept a few small gifts in the closet when my second was born. When gifts arrived for her new sister, I gave my older daughter one of the presents to open.
Children love to help. Allow your child to help with the new baby. Older kids can rock the baby or even change a diaper. Younger kids can help too. Let your child help with the bath, wrapping the baby in a blanket or getting diapers for you. By keeping them involved, they may be less likely to resent the new baby and enjoy the role of Big Sister or Big Brother.