I have written a little about single parents and travel, focusing on how we can make decisions around trips for work and play. Recently, another parent asked about how to make preparations in advance that will make those nights away more pleasant and smooth for the child and I realized this would be an important blog topic. For many of our children, the days go by relatively easily, but it is the nights that are the toughest when mom or dad has to be away.
My children are all teenagers and I did not start traveling for business until recently, but even so, it takes quite a bit of preparation for me to get ready to be away on business. For those single parents of younger children and infant, a great deal of planning goes into making sure that the nights do not turn into nightmares for kids while mom or dad is away. It is important to make sure that the child’s routine stays as stable as possible—this can mean having the adult(s) who is going to stay with the child come to your home instead of the child having to spend the nights away from his or her own home and bed. Some single parents do have other parents that the child can stay with while away on business and this can be one way of alleviating some of the stress.
When I go away, I make sure that all the cupboards are stocked, and the chores are caught up. I even do a little baking so they will have home-baked goodies even when mom isn’t home. Since my children are older, I also leave them a file folder with all the information about where I am, including my flight itinerary, daily schedule, hotel information, etc. I also leave them plenty of spending and “mad” money and any numbers they might need (the plumber, friends and family, etc. Additionally, I leave a sealed “emergency only” envelope with my bank information and other “secret” stuff that they might need if something happened to me AND I arrange for friends and family to stop by and look in on them, take them out to dinner, etc.
With younger children, anything you can do to let them know you are thinking of them while you are away can help. Record yourself reading bedtime stories so they can listen while you are gone. Keep in touch with e-mails or instant messages (I also do this when I am away and I can also make “posts” on my teens Facebook and My Space pages) and/or leave cards and letters they can open while you are gone. Very young children might appreciate having a pillow or something that “smells like” mom or dad to sleep with while you are away.
For children in single parent families, surviving the nights that mom or dad is away can be especially tough—the more we can keep things normal and keep the connection with them while we are away, as well as find ways to make the experience special, the more likely they will get along fine while we are gone.
Also: Vacation Time