The topic of bullying is everywhere from on the news to school board meetings. We hear of cases of bullying between boys and girls from Kindergarten to high school. Sadly, we are now seeing cases of bullying as early as preschool. It is heartbreaking and if not stopped these preschool bullies will go on to brutalize many children through their years in school.
What is bullying?
Bullying is normally thought of as violent behavior such as hitting, pushing, kicking, and other forms of physical abuse. However, bullying also includes emotional abuse and destruction of property. If a child endures another child breaking his crayons, tearing up his papers, or otherwise destroying his things, then he is being bullied.
How young can a bully be?
A child does not understand the concept of empathy until he turns three years old. At three a child begins to understand that his actions can affect others. However, a child this young may not exhibit adequate self control to prevent himself from hitting. This does not excuse the child from the behavior. Firm consequences should always follow such actions. Since a child of this age has the ability to understand empathy, consequences, and to feel sympathy, the root of bullying begins around this age.
A child who incessantly hurts another child physically, emotionally, or harms a child’s belongings despite being told “no” is considered a bully. Bullies are secretive about their behavior and intend harm to another child.
How do you handle preschool bullies?
A wait and see approach is ineffective and will not work. Regardless of age, bullying needs to be met head on. A child needs to learn that his behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Place pressure on the teachers to handle the situation. A child should not have to deal with bullying on his own. However, you can teach your child to stand tall as most bullies will give up if a child puts up a brave front. Some say to ignore it and a child who sticks with friends is less likely to be bullied. You have the option of discussing it with the parent but do not be surprised if the parent is unconcerned or does not see a problem. Most children who exhibit these behaviors see it in the home. Press on and continue to be your child’s advocate. If necessary you may want to consider a new playground, play group, or situation to avoid the problem.