Are you present with your preschooler? I don’t mean are you around your preschooler, or at home, although those are definitely two aspects of being present. What do I mean?
It’s easy to get caught up in other things when you’re at home. Whether this is cleaning the house, working from home, or an important phone call, it is often preschoolers who unconsciously get moved to the margins of our thinking. We’re busy. We want to engage with our kids, as soon as we get this task done. It’s fine to think about the mundane, but often our minds are totally preoccupied with it.
Sometimes, I need to stop and reprioritize. What is really important in this moment? Is it making that phone call, or is it engaging with my child? Can I do both? Can I connect with my child as I do the dishes, making it into a shared experience for both of us? Can we snuggle as I talk on the phone, or make silly faces? It’s not just about multitasking; it’s also about who you’re there for. If you’re there for the dishes but not for your preschooler, your preschooler knows she’s currently second priority. She just knows.
What about down times in the day? Leave some open times in the day that aren’t taken up with errands and household chores and classes and family events. Leave some times just to be together, to be silly, and to prioritize each others’ needs in that particular moment. Whether it’s a need to be read to, snuggled, or ticked and chased, filling your child’s need in that moment is so important to creating long term connections.
It’s easy to get caught up in the thinking and doing sides of parenting. We think about how we parent, and we register our child for the appropriate classes and make sure that our preschooler is well cared-for. But what about the presence side of parenting? Today, think about being present in that moment to fill your preschooler’s needs.