Focusing in on what we can prevent as parents may seem a little idealistic. After all, too much concentration on trying to stop things before they start can affect our flexibility and reaction time. But, I still think there is something to be said for preparation and prevention and trying to figure out what sort of behavior issues, bad habits, and chaotic messes we can prevent—before we ever have to deal with them…
I think that how a parent handles prevention is one of the ways you can tell a really seasoned parent—the ones who have learned how to keep conflicts from developing, problems from arising, etc. They seem to know just the questions to ask, when to not even offer any choices, and how to go the long way to avoid starting a riot by driving by the city pool, fast-food restaurant, or anywhere close to grandma’s house!
I know there are those who think of all of this as “avoidance” but I am of the opinion that avoidance in the parenting realm is just the sister skill to prevention. Why NOT avoid trouble before it ever gets started? If making sure that you have been impeccably fair, scheduled the doctor’s appointments AFTER nap and snack time, and figure out what a child’s triggers are and do whatever possible to prevent an outburst or bad behavior. Avoidance and prevention can be rather useful in the parent’s arsenal of tools.
Instead of trying to shape a child’s temperament and schedule to fit ours, it often makes better sense to try to mold and shape a day and activities around a child’s temperament—or at least identify what the big triggers and realities are. I often remind myself of that old saying “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”—when it comes to parenting choices, I think this is often the case!
See Also: the BE PREPARED Blog