Any parent with more than one child knows that one of the ongoing debates is what belongs to whom? Any item that comes into the house either belongs to an individual or is considered community property. Of course, the actual possession and ownership of items (and this can be toys, books, clothes, food, you name it!) is constantly shifting. There will be battles, fights and all sorts of disagreement over the ownership rights of everything!
I remember in the world that I grew up in, our house usually had we three kids, plus three of my cousins in it. At least during the summer months, we normally had at least six kids running around. My mother handled the ownership and possession chaos with a few simple rules–1. Don’t bring out anything you’re not willing to share and 2. Put your name on all your stuff. How well I remember those heavy plastic Tupperwear cups with our individual names written on masking tape in permanent marker! Despite her simple and concrete rules, we still found plenty of reasons to argue over ownership.
With my own children, I’ve nearly given up trying to mediate. When my daughters were younger, they were so close in age and size that it seemed all of their clothes were communally shared between the two of them. Now that they are quite different in size, stature, and taste–that isn’t so much of an issue. But, we still have arguments over which flip-flops belong to whom, and whether or not someone usurped someone else’s handbag. My general rule was that everyone deserved a right to private ownership, but they needed to make sure that they kept care of their own items. Leaving things lying around in the living room was an invitation to have things viewed as communal property.
I would love to hear other parents’ take on how to handle the private ownership vs. communal property issue in a bustling family–how do you keep track of what belongs to whom?
Also: Learning to Play Alone
My Stuff is NOT Community Property