Have you ever wondered what was going through our minds as we contemplated earth life from our lofty view in the heavens? Have you ever wondered if you quailed at certain tasks, man’s inhumanity to man, or Satan’s apparent influence over all the earth? Did you ever stop to think about the possibility that you would be so intelligent you may not learn to rely on the Lord as is necessary for our eternal salvation? Was it possible that you would explain away God with the frailties of mortal science? Did you look at your mortal life, laid before you in perfect clarity and say, “Snap! I can do that.”
I have no memory of our life before, although there are people I recognize instantly as a lifelong friend at first meeting. There are truths I have prayed about and received confirmation of . . . truths that have guided my footsteps as I follow the path of my Savior. But I know me, not as well as Jesus Christ does, but I know me. I know my personality and how I address issues, problems or challenges. I charge ahead, determined to accomplish the task and then in the middle of a seemingly impossible job I look around and say, “What was I thinking?” Well, I look around at my mortal life and at times look up into the heavens, searching for my Father in Heaven and ask Him, “What was I thinking?”
The answer came to me so simply and so quietly as I spoke with my mother this morning. I begged my Father in Heaven for failsafes. A failsafe is simply “incorporating a feature for automatically counteracting the effect of an anticipated possible source of failure.” (Merriam Webster Online) In other words, I have no doubt in my mind that I turned to my Father in Heaven and begged him for failsafes as I looked at my life plan and saw many pitfalls. I know enough about myself that I prefer to learn from history rather than dooming myself to repeat it. I also know I looked at my life and alternately thought, “I can do this with my eyes closed,” and “Maybe I better make sure.”
When I look at the trials, tragedies and challenges which have crossed my path in life I—know, without the slightest doubt, that I asked my Father in Heaven for the quickest path back to Him. That meant I would have to deal with the toughest of situations, accept the hardest of missions (not that there aren’t more difficult ones, because there are) and willingly seek after all Heavenly Father holds out to each of His children.
So now that I understand how I ended up in the life situation I did – I can’t say, “What was I thinking?” anymore. Clearly, I had my head screwed on straight and knew precisely what I was doing.