I was surprised to learn that not everyone who adopts from the state is notified about ways to protect their child’s identity. If your child is at any risk of harm by either birth parent at all, you might think about these steps.
- Consider changing your child’s name if it is in their best interest. I know there are potentially negative consequences in doing so, but please weigh the risk. Though last names are typically changed at adoption, you may want to at least think about changing the middle if you plan to leave the first name.
- Upon the finalization of your child, bring your adoption decree and new birth certificate in to the Social Security office and ask for a new number for your child. Once in a while a birth parent may have their old social security number and you wouldn’t want it being misused. It is your right to do this with an adoption.
- If there is any chance your name has been leaked to an unsafe birth parent, you may want to unlist your phone number and consider checking out the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse website. There you can learn how to contact various companies that have your private information floating out there free to the general public.
Though I have only heard stories on the news about children being sought by birth parents for wrong motives after adoption, I would not take any chances when keeping your child safe.
If you belong to any online groups, it’s also good not to use your child’s real name. Not just because they are adopted, but out of respect for their privacy. Many parents will use their child’s first initial instead. I refer to my sons as “my older one” and “my younger one”.
I would love to be able to show off my boys’ pictures online. It’s not too likely that their birth parents will find them that way. I try to keep as much of their identity concealed considering I use so many examples from our adoption of them.
(Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog)