I avoid porta-potties like the plague. That goes double when I am traveling with young children.
Whereas the portable johns housed in bright blue closet-like structures may seem like convenient places to relieve oneself I would and have elected to pee in an alley rather than do my duty in the nomadic bastions of filth.
Granted, I was running the Chicago Marathon at the time, but still…
What’s more, there is no way on Earth that I would allow my young child to go number one or two in a porta-potty.
Forget it. I will happily stick to the other strange places she has done her deed, now more than ever.
Just when you thought bacteria was the only harmful feature lurking in a porta-potty, authorities in Colorado are warning parents of another type of filth hiding in the transportable toilets.
Police in Boulder recently announced that they are hunting for a Peeping Tom, who hid in the basin of a porta-john at a weekend yoga and music festival, so that he could get his freak on when guests of all ages, including young children, came in to relieve themselves.
According to the NY Daily News, Colorado cops have a “Porta-Pervert” on their hands.
The perp was allegedly spotted by a woman who was using the toilet. The lady told police that she suspected someone was hiding in the bowl under a tarp when she saw the plastic covering move unassisted. The spooked woman told another festival-goer who then went to find a security guard. In the meantime, the woman exited the porta-potty and immediately heard it lock from inside.
According to police, security personnel waited outside of the porta-john until a tall man with no shoes or shirt came out, covered in poop.
Unfortunately, the man bolted before the security guards could restrain him.
Police say the perverted perp fits the description of a well-known Boulder bum known as “Sky.” He is described as being between 6-feet-4 and 6-feet-8 with short dark hair and leather cuffs on both wrists… and he stinks to high heaven.
If and when the grotesque guy is found, police say he’ll face charges of criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact.
Meanwhile, Colorado cops tell news reporters that they are baffled as to how the suspect was able to squeeze into the tank.
Personally, I couldn’t care less how he did it; I am just astounded that any one in his right mind would consider swimming in feces in order to satiate his perverted appetite.
As if parents needed another thing to worry about…
Related Articles:
Weirdest Place Your Kid Has Gone Potty
Parents and Public Restroom Problems