One of the first acting principles I learned when I joined the church was not a gospel principle; it was the concept of Mormon Standard Time. As a punctual person, the constant lateness grated on my nerves. It took me well over a year to adapt to the more laid back approach. I suppose the Lord must have decided I needed to learn patience!
Now that I have three children, getting out the door for anything – especially church – seems to take major effort. And given the fact that most of the Sacrament meetings I have attended start five or ten minutes after the hour (then factoring in the late-running classes), the problem doesn’t seem to be limited to my family. In fact, as I talk to other moms in the ward and then glanced through the LDS forum, it seems to be a major concern.
The leaders of the church have recently counseled that we strive to arrive in our Sacrament meetings early, rather than a few minutes late. In my last ward, the Bishopric sincerely took this to heart. Would you believe that sacrament actually started at 10:00? Not 10:05. Not 10:15. Needless to say, our first few weeks we struggled with it; there was a bit of complaining at our house, particularly with three kids under the age of 6.
Now we seem to have hit our swing. We were late for our first meeting in our new branch, but that was because we underestimated the drive time AND got lost when the street we were on was closed. We have worked hard to adjust our schedule since then. I’d like to share some tips for getting out the door with small children. I hear teens are a different animal, so I’ll save that for another blog. First, I have to talk to the parents of a few teens.
The easiest and most common advice given is to get ready the night before. Our kids all get bathed in the evening, and I (Mom) shower the night before. My husband shaves in the evening, usually with some prompting. We select the kids clothes and set them out. I put their socks inside their shoes so they don’t roll away or get lost. I pack up the “Sunday Bag” of activities that we use to keep them behaved in Sacrament. The only thing I don’t pack up are my scriptures, since I study them before bedtime. However, I set them beside the bed and carry them out beside the Sunday bag first thing in the morning.
One thing I’ve learned about toddlers: it always takes an extra fifteen minutes to accomplish anything. When we first started making the effort, my husband was amazed that I allotted 45 minutes for breakfast. But that’s how long it takes to eat a single bowl of cereal in our house. Actually, it only takes that long on a bad day; on a good day it’s just a half an hour. But I believe in planning for the worst.
Speaking of planning for the worst, we always eat breakfast in our PJs. I learned this after a few bowls of cereal were dumped, necessitating an all-out clothing change. Now we just save a step.
After the kids are dressed and fed, they are pretty much done. Only then, after I’m sure they are ready to go, do I sit them down with a book or toy and get myself ready. I’m looking forward to the day when my almost-two year old can dress himself and I can wear clothes instead of pajamas in the morning.
Our trip to church takes about thirty minutes. We plan to leave 45 minutes before the hour. Somehow, even with jackets on a chair by the door, it takes ten minutes to put three kids in carseats. I have a feeling that once the new baby arrives, the schedule will shift dramatically. Occasionally, everything goes right and we arrive early. Last week, I think we were in the chapel for ten minutes before the opening hymn was played; my kids thought they would die having to wait so long. But being early meant we were all able to get a seat together, in the chapel, without showing up midway through the service.
On a side note, when I was nursing, I experimented with a variety of methods. With my first, I was called to teach Primary when she was only a month or two old, and so I wound up nursing her before we left and then leaving before Sacrament ended to nurse her again so she’d make it through the rest of church. We lived five to ten minutes away with my second and third, so I would try to plan to nurse and let my husband get the kids ready. Now my husband has a new calling, and we suspect he will wind up attending the PEC meetings. If those come before church, we will all be arriving early, since we only have one car.
Only you know your kids, and what sort of catastrophes you will run into. Does one of yours frequently spill breakfast and need to change clothes? Eat in PJs. Does another one always lose their socks? Find a ‘safe’ place to keep them. Does your baby like to blow out his or her diaper just as you are walking out the door? Set a change of clothes by the door; you can carry them to church ‘just in case’ if the diaper holds. Determine how long your morning routine takes on average, and then plan an extra ten or fifteen minutes. If you have a slow riser, make sure they are the first ones you wake up in the morning – and maybe you can wake them up earlier than the rest of your kids.
I take a pessimistic approach and always plan for the worst. My worst case scenario right now is that my two year old blows out his diaper, which almost never happens. The rest of them – spilled food, lost shoes, and forgotten Sunday bag (the most tragic of all) – I have planned for and tried to prevent. By building in a buffer, I also ensure that we can handle most unexpected problems that arise.
A little bit of planning can go a long way when you take your kids anywhere.
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