We talk about quality time constantly. It’s the catchphrase of our generation – because thirty years ago, no one talked about scheduling quality time or setting a private date to meet with his or her spouse or to even make sure everyone was together. Our world of convenience means we’re on the go, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and there’s no guarantee that the family will be together at a meal time or on the weekends unless we really set aside that quality time.
Quality Time
Quality is how we want to describe the time we spend with our spouses. It’s time we invest in together. It’s a time to nurture our relationship and like your garden, it doesn’t have to be about pulling weeds. Perhaps you are picking flowers, enjoying the garden or simply planting new flowers. Quality time is about being together – not just in the same place, but also together mentally, physically and emotionally.
For example, if the two of you went out to see a movie together, I wouldn’t call the time spent in the movie the quality time. I’d call the lunch before or after, or the coffee you discuss the movie over as the quality time. So if you leave the theater, get in separate cars and head in separate directions, I wouldn’t call that time quality time. By the same token, if you both get in the same car, but one of you gets on the phone with a friend or co-worker and starts talking all about the movie with them – well, I think you can see where I am going with this.
You Define What You Mean By Quality
You define what you mean by quality. You and your spouse have to figure out what type of time spent together fulfills your personal needs. I know couples that spend their whole day together, working in the same office, but they never really talk. But if you ask them, they call it quality time, because they can turn their heads, see each other, reach out a hand and touch and there is a great deal of security that comes from being that close all the time.
Don’t get me wrong, I know what it is to be busy and I know that we’re a society that thrives on over-commitment – but we love our husbands, wives and families. It shouldn’t be stress to make a commitment to quality time together – just make sure you’re both on the same page as what defines quality time. Because if your wife likes that time every evening after the kids are in bed and you’re both curling up and getting ready to turn out the light – if she likes that time to talk and reconnect and six nights out of seven, you go to bed several hours after she does – there may more of a problem in your marriage than you’re aware of.
How do you and your spouse define your quality time?
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