When I was growing up, only children were perceived as very negative little human beings. My mother told me that only children were spoiled and lonely. They didn’t know how to socialize. I grew up pitying only children and vowed to have at least four children of my own. I had two siblings and loved being the big sister.
Then came my daughter, and then came a host of medical challenges that made it difficult for me to have more children. I found myself in an interesting position: I needed to confront my stereotypes about only children, because I was going to have one myself.
If you’re struggling with the fact that you have an only preschooler, whether you’re struggling yourself or with the comments of others, here are some reasons to be happy with one.
Your child will have a lot of one-on-one time, and this is not a bad thing. Yes, I know we’ve been told that only children are spoiled, but you don’t need to spoil your single children or any of your children, if you have more than one. This is a choice. Spending time with your children is a delight. When you enjoy spending time with your child, this is an experience to treasure and a way to build a strong family and good memories.
You can bring your preschooler almost anywhere. Yes, I know that the parents of only children are laughing right now. However, since my daughter was a baby she has been coming to the art gallery, to meetings, to workshops, and to all sorts of adult-oriented or chaotic venues. It’s much, much easier to maneuver around these places with one child, and it’s much easier to keep a single child entertained at an adult workshop.
Travel is easy and cheap. One of the biggest benefits of having an only child is that your travel costs will always be low. You’ll be able to go on that trip to Europe much more easily than if you had four children. I’m planning a trip to Costa Rica next January with only my daughter, and I’ve traveled with her to several countries so far, all without my husband. If I had more children, I would be more intimidated by the prospect, both financially and logistically.
Only children also encourage you to become a kid again. Without any siblings to play with, you are your child’s playmate, at least to a degree.
If you have an only by chance like I do, it can become a good experience. You might long for another child, but you can also deeply appreciate the fact that you have one wonderful child. Each child is a blessing, and only children are no less a blessing simply because they are one.