I think that the ability to reassure our children is one of the most oft-used and important skills in parenting–and, I do think it is a skill that can be practiced and nurtured. We start out with our tiny babies, needing to instill confidence and let them know that we will be there to meet their needs and look after them whatever arises–BUT, as our children grow and head out into the world, it is often our reassurance that keeps them moving forward and fosters their resiliency.
Reassuring our child means letting him know that we have confidence that everything will turn out all right, that he will be able to do a task, try something new, face an obstacle, or cope with the unexpected. How many times have you seen interviews with successful individuals and heard them say that they wouldn’t have been able to achieve what they have if it hadn’t been for their parents support, reassurance and belief in them? I’ve heard dozens of people confess that they had parents who believed in them before they even believed in themselves. Having this steady boost of confidence and reassurance is like giving our child a daily dose of mega-vitamin. With so many negative messages and challenges to face, having that voice of reassurance makes a huge difference!
The reason that I say that reassurance is a skill, is that it doesn’t necessarily come naturally for all of us, but we can practice and learn how and when to offer reassurance to our kids. We may have heard negative and pessimistic messages throughout our own childhood and not know how to give the reassuring statements and support. We can practice telling our child that we think she is competent and capable, that we believe in her ability to problem solve and learn and grow. We can also practice telling our child that things will get better or turn out fine (Even if you don’t always believe this yourself, you’ll be amazed at how “faking it” and modeling optimism and reassurance for your child can help you to feel better about the world too!). It may feel awkward at first, but keep in mind how much that reassurance can mean–it can mean the difference between a child giving up, or continuing to work toward success and happiness.
See Also: Discovering Your Parent’s Intuition
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