What can possibly be wrong with wanting to make everything perfect for your child? Apparently many things. As a single parent it is not good for your child to be your entire focus, that puts a lot of pressure on a little kid. Studies have also shown that children who were micromanaged have more anxiety and depression than other children.
Also the more you hover the less likely your child is to spontaneously play and your child will doubt his own abilities. It’s hard to trust yourself to be able to do a difficult thing if someone is always rushing in to save you. Your child may come to feel that the reason you “help” so much is because he is not smart enough or strong enough, or talented enough to do the task himself.
We can be a good parent without hovering, we just have to become aware and make some changes.
It’s hard to break the hovering pattern but start by staying close but mostly out of sight, this way your child learns to problem solve rather than running to you for everything. Practice skills your child will need to play and get along with other children, and then let him do it.
Take a time out. Choose a time every day where you take a break from being a helicopter. Have a cup of coffee, read a book, teach your child that unless the house is on fire or someone is bleeding you are not getting out of your chair for 30 minutes. Let him learn that he is perfectly capable, without you.
Remind your child of all the things they can do, making their bed, brushing their teeth, etc. Teach them new skills to build their independence.
Finally, count to ten before you rescue. If your child is not in danger, count to ten. Chances are he will work it out. In the space of a slow count to ten your child may figure out how to get his shoe on, or figure out a way to share a toy with another child.
Do this for both of you. After all, we can’t hover forever, one day they will leave the nest and then who will make sure they take their vitamins?