There are some interesting dynamics that happen in a family when children enter their teen years. Sometimes as a parent it can be difficult to accept those changes but they are really just a part of our children beginning to grow up.
For instance, when my daughter was younger she was a daddy’s girl. If she could pick between me and her father, she would have chosen him hands down. I think she actually had him wrapped around her little finger.
When she began to enter her preteen years it started to shift a bit. By the time she turned 12 everything shifted from dad to mom. Suddenly our relationship became more important. Now that isn’t to say that dad isn’t needed. But she is just at that age where she knows that I can relate to a lot of what she is facing and going through, so she feels that connection with me.
When my oldest son was younger we were very close. He was what some may call a “momma’s boy.” He was very dependent on me, even into his middle school years. It wasn’t until he hit high school that things began to shift with us.
With my 6th grader he is all about the both of us, mom and dad. He needs dad for the rough and tough stuff but he still needs me for the hugs and kisses. I am enjoying this while I can because I know that too soon the shift will happen again.
When relationships begin to change as our children become teens we can find that difficult to accept. We may feel like our teens don’t really need us anymore. They do but it’s just that they need us in different ways than they once did. It’s nothing personal and it’s all about them taking those final steps toward adulthood.
So when you experience shifting changes in your relationship with your teen take it in stride and learn how to readjust things. It will make the transition much smoother.
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