Relationship help can come in many forms. The trick to finding the help that will work for your relationship is discovering what works for the individuals involved. The truth is most problems are created by internal friction, but the friction may come from external sources such as work, school, children and life in general.
If a person is experiencing stress in their work life, it often does not cease when they walk out the office door. Instead, like porters at the airport, we are reduced to transporting our baggage without a trolley. When the baggage begins to overwhelm one or both, the relationship can suffer and need help.
Needing help in a relationship doesn’t mean you are on the verge of a divorce or separation. It doesn’t mean you are a bad partner. Instead it recognizes that relationships are comprised of people and that people are a sum of all their experiences and that is what they bring to the relationship.
The best relationship help a couple can offer each other is to never stop talking and to never run out of time for each other. It ma sound easier on paper than it does in reality when working overtime, family obligations and even school can bite huge chunks of time away leaving a person drained and exhausted when they finally do come home.
If this is happening, talk to your significant other. No one wants to be ignored and if they don’t know what’s going on they may start to feel like they always come second. Emotions are a hard thing to logically organize at times. But by communicating, you let them know you are not forgetting them. Another relationship help tip is to make time. This isn’t as difficult as it sounds, because if you take a huge problem and chunk it into manageable portions, anything is possible.
Imagine you are a person who commutes to work. You leave very early and the morning and don’t return until well after dark. Maybe you have classes some nights after work or you have kids and you go to their events. Of course there’s the occasional evening out with the folks from the office. Once you are home, there’s always something that needs to be done whether it’s the lawn mowed, a load of laundry, a meal to prepare or worse – the bills to be sorted through.
It’s easier in all of these to think your partner understands and won’t mind if you don’t feel up to watching a movie, talking, going out or doing much of anything. The assumption works a few times, but when it becomes a pattern, even the other adult in the relationship will feel slighted. Imagine that you are doing all of the above and so is your partner – you are likely to start feeling neglected too.
This is a danger zone for relationships, they are strong enough to be taken for granted which is a perverse sort of compliment and yet they will start to fracture into small resentments from the same stress if it never relents. So help your own relationship by never closing the door on talking. Set aside one night a week that’s just for you and your partner – if you need a babysitter, make arrangements ahead of time. Make sure that one evening is spent on each other and not splitting hairs over bills or chores. Make sure you are taking good care of yourself, because if you help yourself, your relationship is helped by what you bring to it.
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