When it comes to marriage, possessing social confidence is not always automatic. Whether we are 20, 30 or 50, we can learn to be socially confident in order to help develop great relationships with our friends, our family and our spouses.
There are some who absorb these skills without great effort. They are skilled at relationships and they likely had fantastic models in their parents. They cannot explain why they are good at relationships, they just are. If you were to ask one to articulate the skills they use to manage their relationships, they would not be able to answer.
For the rest of us, these skills include understanding how:
- to read other people’s emotions and moods
- to resolve conflict through peaceful measures
- to enter and exit the conversations and activities of others with grace
- to defuse negativity
Far be it from me to say that relationships are ever simple. Even those relationships that may seem simple are actually complex. I, for one, have never been very good at them. I am constantly apologizing for mistakes I’ve made. I know I am not alone, many of us feel the same way and for those who never master the above – they are at risk for social rejection.
This form of rejection can be a very negative experience and it can affect people profoundly. When one or the other of a married couple lacks social confidence and relationship skills, making repairs and responding to them may be very difficult.
It’s important that we never give up on developing our relationship skills. There is no greater source of happiness and pleasure than that found in friendships, spousal relationships and relationships with our children. Because our relationships define and fulfill our lives, developing these skills is important.