It is a sad but true fact that there are often cliques in Relief Society. Often I think these form out of not reaching beyond your initial circle of friends. Many times these circles are just of people in the same place in their lives. The moms of the teenagers tend to congregate together, because they want to talk about their teenagers. The young moms with multiple children spend a lot of time together, because their kids like to play together. The newly marrieds and first time moms hang out a lot together as well. While many are friendly, it can be difficult to have a truly unified Relief Society when this is happening.
Sadly, I have lived in a ward where I was told constantly that I should make friends with certain people. While I know the sisters were not trying to say, “I don’t want to be your friend” it sure felt that way sometimes. In this particular ward I made an effort to attend Enrichment night on a regular basis, and still really struggle to get to know anyone. It was very difficult to feel accepted there.
I have also lived in a ward, where there were no circles of friends or cliques. The ward was smaller, and so I think the sisters looked past the normal boundaries that people set up when it comes to friendship. We were there to support each other, no matter what happened. It was wonderful because you had the opportunity to take to women who had already experienced what you were going through or you could look at your marriage in a new way when you spoke to a newly wed.
It can be difficult to break down those boundaries and reach outside of your comfort zone. The circles and cliques are often unintentional, but it is important to make an effort to reach outside of them and include all sisters. We can reach out and talk to people each week. We can extend an arm of fellowship and a listening ear. A warm smile and a warm hello can help to break down the barriers that exist.
Related Articles:
Relief Society: Building Unity
Relief Society: 5 Ways to Build Unity on Enrichment Nights