So you’ve discovered your love for your spouse is fading, what can you do about it? Here are some suggestions.
Remember
Remember where you started. When I lose sunglasses, keys or something, which is fairly common with me, I retrace my steps. It is no different with marriage. If you have lost your love for your spouse or are just having trouble remembering why you fell in love with them in the first place, go back to the beginning. Make a list of the reasons why you fell in love with them. Share that list with your spouse.
Work on complimenting them and encouraging them for those good qualities you have remembered. A little praise can do wonders in building their self esteem and helping them want to please you more. That’s then good for both of you in the marriage.
Change Direction
Recognize your spouse is not the only one to blame if things aren’t going well. Recognize you’ve been a bit slack too. Recognize that too often other things have taken priority over your love and relationship with each other. It might be work, family, general busyness or other interests. Try making your spouse the priority.
Stop
Stop complaining and being critical of your spouse. Stop thinking about what is wrong with your spouse or where they don’t meet you expectations and concentrate on where they do. Start putting their needs and desires first. It’s the kind of thing we often do in the beginning of a relationship. But it is easy to get away from it and want to please ourselves. Get back to pleasing your spouse and thinking about what you can do to make them happy.
Back Up
Get back to basics and do those things you did at first. It might be little things like holding hands, smooching, talking and planning together. It might be, buying your spouse a little gift not for birthday or anniversary but just to show you’re thinking of them or laughing at their jokes. Dress to please them. Sometimes we dress up for friends or for work and just sloth around in daggy clothes when we’re with our spouse.
Some of these ideas came from our minister in a sermon Mick and I listened to the other day in the car. We both agreed they are practical and helpful.
Related articles