I know this seems like worn out advice, but I really do believe that it is even more important and poignant for the single parent. Things can get pretty rough and tumble for a single parent trying to build a happy and healthy family life–but working through those tough times and getting over and around those obstacles really does make us stronger (and it makes our kids stronger and more resilient too!)…
I am a pretty ordinary, typical sort and I can be honest with you and say that I’ve been through things I would have never imagined I could make it through–all because of my evolving life as a single parent. And, with each obstacle, each difficulty and each lesson–I’ve grown stronger and been able to model that strength and resiliency for my kids. Now, this doesn’t mean that I’ve blasted away every obstacle like a sparsely-clad heroine in a modern video game–in fact, some of the obstacles have been so overwhelming that all I could manage to do was to sit still and survive, while for others I had to find a way around the problems instead of climbing over or blasting through. But, I don’t think it always has to be about overcoming and winning–sometimes it is just about getting by!
Single parents are on a special path. Just because things might be harder or more challenging does not make them worse or “less than” someone else’s journey. Instead of thinking of things like a victim, as though they are happening to us and we are powerless to change things, we can choose to see ourselves as complete participants who are plodding along on our chosen path. All those obstacles really will make us stronger, and add some flavor and strength to those who come along with us!
Also: The Rhythm of Family Life May Have a Different Beat for the Single Parent Family
Letting Go of Being Automatically Defensive