One of the hardest times to connect to your spouse is when they are acting unlovely. Yes, it is hard to love the unlovely. You almost get this sense of entitlement and say to yourself, “I don’t deserve this treatment.”
No one deserves to be treated poorly. Yet not one of us could claim to be without fault in this area. We all slip from time to time and granted, it may last longer than other times but we are all guilty.
I always know when things at work are stressing my husband out because he tends to take it out on those closest to him. However I have also discovered that the way I choose to respond, notice I said “respond” will make a huge difference in the outcome.
I used to be the type of person who always reacted to situations. I would be quick to give a snappy comeback or to stand up for “my rights.” But through the years I have become better, not perfect, at responding.
It makes a huge difference. Reacting comes from a knee-jerk reaction and it typically isn’t pleasant. If your spouse is already in a bad mood your reaction is only going to add to the problem. Your spouse may choose to react back or retreat. Neither is a healthy option for a marriage.
However when you gather your senses, take some time to think it through and respond, you are more likely to get a positive response. No, there are no guarantees that your spouse’s mood will suddenly change but you just might diffuse the situation.
This doesn’t apply to just those moments when your spouse is unlovely. It applies to every moment there is interaction taking place between you and your spouse. When you choose to respond instead of react you can be the one that sets things in the right direction.
Practice responding instead of reacting and take note of the difference it makes.
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