These days I find occasionally I set out to do something and then, by the time I get there, forget what it was I was planning to do. What do I do when this happens? I retrace my steps and go back to the place where I was when I thought of it. Often before I get there, I’ve remembered. It’s good advice for a marriage too to go back and to retrace our steps.
This is especially important when things are not working as well as we’d like or are starting to be a bit rocky. Then it’s a good idea to retrace our steps. It’s helpful to go back to the beginning and define what it was that first attracted you to your spouse. Think about your spouse’s good qualities and ignore the negative one. Make a list of those good qualities.
Take those good qualities and one by one, day by day, make a point of thanking your spouse for those good qualities. Thank them for their sense of humor, for their hard work supporting the family, for their strength in times of crisis or whatever it might be.
Remember the things you have done together and the good times you have had. Make time to sit down and talk about the happy times. It won’t just happen. As someone said on radio, these days ‘time is a luxury commodity.’ So make time for the two of you to be together and to relive those happy times. When you start to do, you may find the good times far outweigh the bad times. Sometimes a photo album can be a helpful tool in remembering the good times with your spouse or as a family.
Lastly think of all the changes that would come into your life, your spouse’s life and that of your family if you divorced. Is that really what you want? As we saw in an earlier blog, divorce doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be happier. It may, in fact, make you less happy.
We invest time and effort in learning new skills, in practicing the piano or some other musical instrument, in learning to cook or to drive or to be better parents, surely we should be prepared in trying to improve our marriages and make them better.
Usually when you’re fisrt married everything is joyful and new. It’s worth retracing your steps and starting from now, to make an investment of time and effort into making your marriage better.
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Secrets of Long Lasting Marriages
Will Divorce Make You Happier?