Sometimes, you can’t take the stress out of a cat’s environment. If seeing other animals outside the window is upsetting your cat, you can close the shades or not allow your cat into rooms with windows facing the street. However, if the stressor is something like a new pet or a new baby, you can’t really remove the source!
In cases where you can’t remove the source of the stress, you can try desensitization and counterconditioning.
Desensitization is exposing the animal gradually to the source of stress. Start with versions that are so mild that they don’t provoke anxiety — for example, let the cat sniff something the baby has worn. Increase the intensity of the stress gradually. Play a recording of the baby babbling, laughing, and crying at low levels, then gradually increase the volume over time. Maybe you would let the cat look into the baby’s room next — you could put a high baby gate so the cat can’t jump into the room. Then let the cat walk around the baby’s room and investigate things. Finally, let cat and baby interact (with supervision of course).
This works best if you start out with the cat in a calm state of mind. You can relax and distract the cat with petting or food before introducing the source of stress. A situation like this might be a good time for calming pheromones — if you’re giving the cat one of the baby’s jumpers to smell, spraying it with Feliway or another cat pheromone could help create a sense of calm. If that doesn’t work, your veterinarian could prescribe some sort of anti-anxiety medication.
Counterconditioning means teaching the cat to associate a good thing with the object that causes him stress. For example, reward the cat with a special food treat or extra attention while they are near the source of stress. Using the example above, you could play the tapes of the baby crying while the cat is enjoying something delicious.
Patience is very important with a stressed cat! Don’t expect the problem to go away overnight. Be sure to speak softly and be gentle with your cat. Don’t force him to encounter the source of stress if he isn’t ready — you will end up with a fearful, upset, anxious cat on your hands. Take your time with your stressed cat and he will learn to be a confident, relaxed feline.