Sometimes when people look at my search and subsequent reunion, they think that everything was all roses and peaches and that life is perfect. And while to some, it may look that way now, it wasn’t always that way.
Even after that initial letter I received from my biological mother, things weren’t always peaches and roses. In fact, we would stay in contact via letters and then not talk for months. It was hard to establish a relationship and connect when we both were so busy with our own lives. We lived hundreds upon hundreds of miles apart, and we’d still never laid eyes on each other, well…except for once, a really long time ago.
I realize in my blog posts about my search, I blew through the information pretty quickly. It wasn’t quick at all. In fact, my search began sometime in the summer of 1994 and I got nowhere until spring/summer of 1995. I might add that it was something that was part of our daily lives during that entire year! I had a searcher working with me, and many friends. We still kept hitting walls and although I didn’t include all those details (some of which I no longer remember) they were still part of the whole experience.
And don’t forget that originally she didn’t want anything to do with me. That was extremely hard to take. I probably glazed right over it, but I was hurt, angry, mad, depressed, sad, you name it, I felt it. In fact, much of the poetry and writing I did during that time was very dark and black and makes me sad to read now.
Earlier today, I entered this poem into my blog. It was written during that time. Among several others like it. Hopefully it will show you that not every part of a search, and even sometimes reunion is roses and peaches.
I might have an incredible relationship now, but it isn’t always that way for everyone, and it wasn’t always that way for me.
I hope you will keep reading my blog to get more of the story and here about the eventual face to face reunion and other stories that took place after the initial contact.