Santa has one wish this Christmas: He doesn’t want to get swine flu from your kid.
S.O.S. Spare Our Santa!
It’s the battle cry shared by mall owners around the world. If your kid is sneezing, coughing, has a sore throat or—-GASP!-—a fever, keep him far away from Jolly Ol’ St. Nick.
Lest you think this warning is just a bunch of holiday bah humbug, think again. Mall owners are going all out to save Santa from ending up in the ER this Christmas.
At malls in Pennsylvania and Minnesota, Santa’s elves have a new job this year: Prescreening children for flu-like symptoms. According to mall management, kids who are coughing and sneezing in line will be turned away.
In addition, if you plan to take your children to visit the big guy this season, be prepared to wait a bit longer than last year. That’s because Santa is going to need some time to decontaminate himself after each little tyke leaves his lap. Mall officials say Santa will be sanitizing his hands after every visit with a kid and wiping his face with anti-bacterial cloths twice an hour.
Meanwhile, some malls in Canada are advising Santa to leave his velvety red coat at home for fear that its fuzzy exterior may harbor germs should it get hit by a kid’s cough, sneeze or—-double GASP!—-puke. In addition, Canadian Clauses will be executing multiple changes of their white gloves, and in some cases using disposable rubber gloves to handle potentially germy kids. (I’m sure that’ll look real good in the souvenir photo.)
So now Santa’s a hypochondriac?
I don’t think so. After all, the guy is exposed to hundreds of kids a day, most of which want to cuddle up to his cheeks that are like roses, and his nose like a cherry. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to snuggle with Santa, when your kid is crying, spitting, and drooling over Father Christmas, you can’t blame the guy for taking precautions.
If the whole Santa vs. the Swine Flu situation turns you off, consider going high-tech this season. Santa will be Skyping and accepting email Christmas wish lists from kids whose parents want to avoid encounters with Kris Kringle and his hermetically sealed Ho Ho Hos.
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