I remember September 11th, and I’m sure you do too. My daughter wasn’t born yet, but in a couple of months we’ll make our way to Manhattan to visit my brother, and I’m debating whether to talk with her about what happened there.
I also remember listening to a discussion by attachment experts and psychologists after the fact. As teachers and parents across the United States and around the world grappled with what to say to their children about the terrorist attacks, the experts were rather unified in their opinions. Tell children that they are safe, they said. Yes, explain what happened, but reassure your children. Promoting unquenchable fear in children leads to distress, not appropriate action.
I was thinking about this again today. Yesterday my daughter was in a minor car accident. She’s fine, but she was pretty shaken up. A week and a half ago we were on a walk with a relative’s dog when the dog suddenly got attacked by another dog who burst out of the bushes beside my daughter. Again, everyone was fine in the end. However, these incidents do have me thinking about trauma and how to best handle it in preschoolers.
What does the US Department of Health recommend? If your child has experienced the loss of a loved one or pet, a car accident or other physical trauma, or has experienced violence, then here are some ways to help your preschooler cope.
Stay calm and connected with your children. Spend some snuggle time with them and avoid separating from them when they are feeling upset.
Encourage children to talk about their feelings or play act their feelings. Comfort and reassure them that things are all right.
Continue to do the regular routines that make up your day. Make sure that children get good food and rest.
Act as a shield between children and scary images of the trauma that they may have experienced or be experiencing.
Talk about emergency plans and make plans for an emergency if you do not have them already. We have often talked about how car seats help keep us safe, so we talked about this again today.
What do you do when your child is deeply scared?
(Image courtesy of dorianas at stock exchange)