In my last blog, I shared some fears I had as I began the adoption process. Here, I will share some fears I had about the overseas agency and overseas adoption process in general. These fears came from stories that circulate about foreign officials or adoption workers telling adoptive parents what they want to hear, not tell all the fees, etc.
I had no reason to fear our agency—except for room and board, we paid all our fees to the American agency, who paid the Korean adoption agency. Nevertheless, the rumors lingered.
I was secretly afraid that unexpected delays would turn out to be from drastic causes. Maybe the child had HIV. Maybe the birthparents had come back. Maybe we were going to be denied because of previous health issues. Maybe the foreign government was going to suddenly stop issuing exit visas for children.
There were a couple of delays, the causes of which were much more mundane. We spent a month waiting for a medical document to arrive at our Minnesota adoption agency, before someone realized that it was the “extra” untranslated document that had been stuck in a drawer until it could be translated. I heard something about “needing to find the birthmother’s family registry” being cited as a reason for delay and immediately thought that a relative had come to adopt the child, or that the birthmother had disappeared without properly signing the relinquishment forms and we’d never be able to find her again. I pictured the little girl—MY little girl–living in foster care and then an orphanage for five or six years. I’m still not sure what that delay was about, and neither is our American adoption agency, but apparently it was either quickly resolved or wasn’t a dealbreaker.
Despite our friendly reception by the obviously dedicated staff of the Korean agency, the horror stories remained at the back of my mind enough to make me suspiciously panic at something the social worker said as we prepared to leave the agency for our flight home. I thought she was telling me I had to “pay before departure” and immediately thought of people who adopted from other countries (not Korea) saying they’d been pressured for bribes.
I was humbled when I finally realized she was saying, not “pay”, but “pray”! The agency’s 90-year-old founder made a point of coming to pray over each baby before s/he left for a new family. At 6:30 in the morning, there he was, leaning on his cane with one hand while raising the other to bless our baby. His son then supported him while he took the baby from the foster mother’s arms and placed her in mine.
I am in awe and in tears just thinking about it. Needless to say, my suspicions were not founded!
In my next blog I’ll share some fears I had, or have, about being an adoptive parent—once I got past the adoption process itself.
Please see these related blogs:
Book Review: Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother
Thoughts of Another Adoptive Mother
Thoughts of Another Adoptive Mother, Continued