In my last blog, I listed tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics related to discipline. One of the tips was to, “try to avoid power struggles, focus only on those issues that are really important.” Basically, pick your battles. Sometimes this is easier said than done and many times I end up embroiled in a power struggle with Tyler over issues that aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things. However, this morning I ignored something that he did that normally would have resulted in a struggle. I sent him to school “as is”. What I mean by that is I let him go to school with his shoes on the wrong foot and his undershirt on backwards.
Tyler loves going to school but most mornings getting him dressed is a struggle. He simply dawdles. And he does weird things to get me going. I mentioned in a previous blog how one day he kept his pajamas on and then pretended that he didn’t realize it. The issue with the shoes is an ongoing one. And yes, he knows how to put his shoes on correctly; he simply likes the attention. The same is true of the undershirt. I have been threatening to take him to school “as is” and today was the day I decided to put up or shut up. Especially, when I saw him take the shoes, put them on the correct foot and then switch them!
Now, he’s having some problems tying his shoes so I tie them for him most days and when he came to me this morning—- he was actually smirking! He knew I was going to say something but, surprise, I simply tied his shoes without one word.
Oh, so he really wants to play, I thought. Maybe it’s the weather– it’s 45 degrees and raining and folks, I’ve said it before, this is the south it’s not supposed to get this COLD. So, I was already in a grumpy mood.
Once I tied his shoes and ignored the obvious fact that they were on the wrong foot and did likewise for the undershirt, I went on about my business and got dressed. When it was time to go, I gave him his coat, we piled into the car and off we went “as is”.
Now, I am willing to bet it was a bit uncomfortable with the shoes on the wrong foot. He probably took them off as soon as he got to school. The point is, in the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter if his shoes were on the wrong foot and his undershirt was on backwards. I took him to school “as is” and I never once let on that I noticed anything was out of whack. But I bet Monday morning he’ll put his shoes and undershirt on correctly.
See also:
Discipline Problems? All It Takes Is A Smile
Is Your Method of Discipline Working?