Some people can be so convincing—there are those experts and strong-minded personalities who can state their own opinions and belief statements as though they are absolute fact. It can be confusing when you are trying to figure out what to do or are looking for solid, useful advice. It is important, however, to be able to discern what is a true fact (the earth revolves around the sun) from an opinion (all children should be toilet-trained by the age of 2).
As single parents, many of us already need some good mentors and role models to help us see “how its done.” We may hear a great deal from people who are in different family situations and configurations that we are and some of their advice just doesn’t apply to us. If we assume that their ideas, values and opinions are FACTS, we can start to feel badly about the job that we are doing.
Even your wisest and most trusted role model can share “opinions” as if they were known facts. I know that I have tended to turn to my mother for advice when times got rough and rugged, but I also learned that she was often sharing her personal opinions from her own experiences and sometimes they applied to my family and my kids, but other times, they were not exactly what I needed to hear or do. Even all those experts and talk show hosts are often sharing opinions. Does Dr. Phil or Oprah REALLY know your situation or understand the personality of your child (or you for that matter?) How is it that their opinion should carry more value than yours?
I do not mean to imply that there are not some facts in childrearing, but many of the things we take as facts are really guidelines, opinions, and belief systems. We can learn from them, perhaps, and maybe even get some good ideas—but we also need to separate the true facts from the opinions and remember that we are the ultimate decision-makers for our families and our lives.
Also: You Can’t Learn it All From a Book
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