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Setting Age Guidelines for Teens

If you have a teen who likes clear guidelines and dates so she can then push the envelope, then you have someone who wants to know at what age she can date and wear makeup.

I have had no trouble setting age guidelines for cell phone ownership, or for visiting friends in the neighborhood without an escort, but being asked to set such adult guidelines is troubling to me.

When she asks, my impulse answer is always “never”, or “when I say so”, but I realize that these answers are unfair. Fortunately she knows that when I give a ridiculous answer, I am just avoiding the subject so she isn’t too hurt by my answers, and just continues to push.

If her older brother were interested in dating, it might be easier for us to gauge what maturity and dating looks like. But alas, he is not cooperating in this parenting experiment. So I am left to figure out this dilemma on my own.

Actually, it’s not all as bad as it sounds. I kind of have it made up in my mind when I will allow what. The biggest problem will be squaring it all up with her father.

Where makeup is allowed, my husband thinks it is OK to experiment with it and wear it around the house, so it is just a matter of time before he will let her leave the house with it on. Right now, I am Ok with Mascara, lip-gloss and a little bronzer, but prefer they be saved for special occasions. My rule is it is Ok if it is not noticeable. As for full makeup, I think 16 is an appropriate age.

As for dating, neither of us feel it is something to even consider before 16. At that point, I think we may be able to assess maturity. I don’t want to give a set age in advance because maturity three years in the future will be hard to gauge.

What do you think?
Have you set an age for your child to wear makeup? What about dating? Do you think I am being unreasonable or fair?

Look at the things we have to worry about:

Teen Dating Violence: A Serious Problem

Teen Dating Safety


Is “Going Out” Actually Dating?

Boy Crazy