Think that vows of silence or silent weekend retreats are only for monks and holy people? Trying a day or afternoon or weekend of silence as a family can be fun, calming, and a way to focus on each other and be together without the chaos of chatter. Kids and parents can find it fun and challenging to find alternative ways of communicating when talking is out…
My kids and I used to have fun with “silent hour” or “silent day” (We also used to have “opera day” but that is for another blog). The goal wasn’t to avoid each other or not communicate at all, but to find other ways of communicating that didn’t involve talking. We could write notes, gesture, use sign language, give each other hugs, etc. It is amazing how well you can communicate non-verbally when you focus on it!
I have found that having multiple ways of communicating has paid off over the years. A year and a half or so ago, when one of my daughters and I were going through an exceptionally tough, teenager and mom time–I suggested to her that we go out to lunch together, no talking (to each other–we did talk to the waitress when we ordered). We were able to sit across the table from each other and “communicate” in ways we hadn’t been able to for weeks. Since we’d chosen a restaurant downtown, right across the street from what had been our favorite “make your own pottery” place, she gestured that we should go in as we were leaving lunch. She and I spent the entire afternoon in there, each of us silently working on our chosen piece of ceramics–doing a project together and being together, but not trying to talk. I truly believe that afternoon of silent togetherness was a turning point for us during that rough patch.
So, why not try some silence and some non-verbal communication to shake things up and connect in a different way? It can be for a half hour, an hour, and afternoon, or you could even try a weekend…
Also: Speech and Language Development
Bonding is an On-going Process