If you are living in a blended family, you know that sharing is a huge part of almost every aspect of your lives. It would be nice if sharing came naturally for humans, but unfortunately this isn’t always the case.
Whether it is the step-mother sharing her husband with his kids, the step-kids sharing dad with a new woman (or mom with a new man), or its just as simple as sharing toys, food, books and clothes, there just seems to be an enormous burden put on the blended family in which everyone must share.
When it is a person we must share with one another, this can be tricky since it isn’t as simple as duplicating the item or just buying something new to occupy their time, there needs to be some things to think about.
Setting aside family time is important. If the step-mother or step-father is dominating all of the parents time, the children are going to feel left out. While the step-parent feels that they need this time to grow in their blossoming relationship, the kids need that same time to see that the other person truly cares about them, wants to be with them and show them they can have fun too. Family time could consist of watching television programs together, playing games or simply going out for some pizza and arcade games. Be sure to laugh, talk and communicate a lot. This is usually a positive time and will be remembered by all.
The same has to be said for if the children are dominating one of the parents time. Mom and Dad (doesn’t matter which one is the step-parent) need some time together too. They need date nights and special occasions where they can celebrate their relationship. There needs to be boundaries set up and a united front, and the only way to keep something like this in place is to spend some time together alone and away from kids. My only advice on this, is be sure to include the children whenever possible. There is nothing that can ruin a new relationship or marriage faster than one parent alienating the other, or one parent alienating the kids.
If it is simply objects that need to be shared, there are several ways to go about this. Please watch for an article appearing in the Blended Families section of the Parents blog, titled “Tips to Encourage Sharing in a Blended Family”.
Nicole Humphrey writes about the creative and memory preserving side of life and families in the Scrapbooking Blog and Fun Blog, provides helpful hints to blended families and single parents on the Parents Blog, and provides informative tips and advice for students, teachers and parents on the Education Blog. She also guest blogs on a variety of topics. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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Step Mothers and Biological Mothers in the Blended Family