Recently, I decided it was time to turn over some of the more “grown-up” chores to my three teenagers. With only a few short years before they are out of the nest (hopefully) and some lessons of independence and responsibility left to be learned–not to mention my aggravation over the constant complaints about what I did and didn’t purchase at the grocery store–I turned over part of the grocery shopping to the teens and decided we could all share in keeping the cupboards stocked.
Now, rest assured resistance was intense. At first. I explained that I was going to put the money for the grocery budget in a special container each week and whoever wanted to or felt inspired to grab the list and go to the store could do so–I was no longer going to take complete and sole responsibility for grocery shopping. Everyone was going to have to be on the honor system. If someone took out five dollars for a movie or lunch, then that would be $5 less for family groceries (so far, nothing like that has happened!). My goal is that they will finally grasp that we do have a “budget” for things like food and gain the experience of cost comparison and shopping without Mom there to tell them what to do.
Gradually, all three have gotten on board and are participating in the shopping. After about a two weeks, my middle daughter really into it. Since she’s doing more of the shopping, she’s jumped into doing more cooking too. She is experiencing the pleasure of picking out the ingredients and coming home and preparing a pasta dish or other meal. And, it’s kind of fun to hear the three of them conversing about what kind of cheese is the best value and whether to get white or brown eggs. I’m still doing some grocery shopping too, but now my trips to the store are once or twice a week instead of virtually every day!
The challenge for me has been that I had to be ready to really “let go”–it means that I’m not criticizing or complaining or getting involved. With these older teens, I knew that if I said I was going to turn things over and set the parameters for the new plan, I was going to have to be impeccable with my word and show that I was serious, meant business, and had complete confidence that they would be able to handle the task. That means buying my own Grape Nuts and not complaining about the huge box of Apple Jacks in the cereal cupboard!
See Also: Children Can do Chores and Trying to Get a Handle On…Food