Tom and I have been aware for quite some time that there are online listings of children awaiting adoption. There are a number of websites where you can view information about these children, national and international listings, as well as local state and county listings, and they allow you to search by location, gender, age group, disabilities, and whether or not the child is a part of a sibling group.
A quick google provided me with the following sites: Heart Gallery of America,
AdoptUsKids,
The Adoption Photolisting
We have, until now, avoided these websites. Our primary reason for avoiding them was because we figured that the basic information that is available online would not be enough to form an accurate picture of that child in our minds, and there would be no way of knowing whether that child would be best suited for our home or not just by looking at a picture or a video. We didn’t want to find a child we thought was right, and have our hearts set on adopting that particular child, only to find out that the child would not be a good fit. And we didn’t want to base our decisions on the minimal, mostly superficial, information that was available to us.
We are now at the point in our own adoption when the adoption recruiter and the case workers are working on matching us with children. Up until now we have just provided the required information to allow the home study to be completed, and we have assumed that it would be best to trust them to find the best possible match for our family.
They recommended, as a starting point, that we look at the children who are listed online. I felt like I was shopping for a child. These websites may be useful for outreach, but I’m not so sure it’s best to use them for the actual placement of children in homes.
I know how difficult it is to recruit good adoptive parents, especially for the harder to place children, such as older children, minorities, and children with special needs. I understand, as well, how hard it is to arrange and sustain good placements that will allow these children to thrive and have the best possible future that can be provided for them. I understand the need to raise awareness and find forever families for these children, but… something about there being pictures, bio information, and even videos, of these children online just doesn’t sit right with me.
Viewing this information with the knowledge that one of these children could end up becoming part of our family was strange, and there was a part of me that wanted to adopt them all, so the knowledge that the ones we don’t select will still be waiting just made me sad.