The saddest possible way to enter into a marriage is feeling like you don’t have a choice. Forced marriages are not usually ones made of love, however in marriages which are arranged by the parents, it is not even considered. You will either grow to love your spouse or you won’t.
People feel forced to get married for a few reasons. Unplanned pregnancy is the number one reason that couples enter into a marriage before they are ready; feeling as if you’ll never get married if you don’t get married now is the other.
It is obvious that a when a marriage is forced the chances that it will last are slim to none. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and half of those are because the couple felt as if they had no other choice. The other half is from abuse or getting married too soon after meeting and not having a long courtship.
This article is not about forced marriages sanctioned by the countries in which they occur, it is about two people making an unrealistic decision based on circumstances, finances, or romance.
As said before, some of the most common reason for forced marriages is the ircumstance of an unplanned pregnancy. It is a fact that children thrive in a family where both biological parents are present before any other. If an unplanned pregnancy is the case and the couple chooses to get married, they can alleviate the feeling of it being a forced marriage by entering into couples counseling-often provided free by the church or a program available through community outreach. This type of counseling can help tremendously when the couple is feeling trapped but wanting to do the right thing.
Finances are the worst reason for getting married if you are not ready. Marrying for money rather than love is doomed. If you plan to marry your boyfriend or girlfriend to get out of wherever you are living with dreams of financial security, stop now. Emotional security-love-is more important and if the marriage is meant to be then the finances will often take care of themselves.
Romance is a wonderful reason to get married, but if you’ve fallen head over heels in love and marry after a whirlwind courtship then your marriage could be in trouble from the beginning. While there are many stories of happy couples marrying after a short courtship and those marriages lasting a lifetime, there are many more where once the novelty wore off the couple realized that they had jumped in too soon. This is why pre-marital counseling is so important. Having a good income to support a marriage isn’t vital, but it is realistically important. Knowing the person well is paramount. You have the rest of your lives to get to know each other better than you do, but you should at least know the basics other than how good they look tonight. Take the time to get to know each other-if you are truly in love than it shouldn’t matter how long you wait before tying the knot.