Recently, the question was posed, “Should I homeschool without my husband’s consent?” Many times the wife is motivated to homeschool while her husband is against the idea. This issue can cause feelings of frustration and stress which can manifest into arguments. Like the mouse with the cookie, this leads to fighting and the fighting leads to insecure children and that leads to a long line of making independent decisions which continues to erode at a marriage. Due to this snowball effect, my answer is that homeschooling is not an option unless both parents are on board.
Homeschooling is a massive undertaking that should not begin on shaky ground. Having the full weight of your child’s education on your shoulders is overwhelming and stressful. There are times you will need support, encouragement and a shoulder to cry on. If your husband is anti-homeschooling then he will not be present for you in your time of need. It will cause hard feelings and arguing as he uses your stress as a reason to quit while you insist you are just having a bad day.
On the other hand you could find support at co-ops or from other homeschooling moms. While, I believe you need other homeschooling moms as a support network, excluding your spouse will cause issues. You will begin to feel withdrawn from your husband. In turn, he will become more withdrawn from you and decisions which need to be made for the children. This type of separation can lead to serious martial problems.
If you feel homeschooling is the best option for your family, yet your husband is opposed then find out his reasons. Have a husband/wife meeting and list the reasons he is opposed to homeschooling. Listen to his concerns and let him know you respect his opinions. Ask him if he is willing keep an open mind while you discuss your views on homeschooling.
It is important that the atmosphere remains calm and does not turn into a fight. Men are best approached in a logical business type format. They want to know how you will conduct your day, what will you teach, are you confident you can teach all subjects, will the children get a better education at home, will the children be properly socialized and if your household can afford homeschooling.
Show your husband the research you have done and let him know the time you sacrificed to make this decision. It has been my experience that men tend to think women want to overprotect their children by keeping them home. Men often think the decision to homeschool is rash and emotional. Whatever your husband’s fears or concerns, you need to find a way to alleviate them. You cannot begin to have a productive discussion on homeschooling until both of you are aware of the pros and cons and how future issues will be dealt with.
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