Well, the obvious answer to this question is no. When adults put labels on kids, it can cause psychological problems and it can also generate behavior that is not productive. A number of articles appeared in various papers today discussing this same question. Experts are asking whether or not it is okay for parents to tell their children or their teenagers that they are fat.
The debate is over language that the government uses is too fuzzy and gentle and doesn’t cut to the heart of the matter. But the problem is – telling someone that they are fat or overweight is not an easy conversation – not even for a doctor.
I want to address this issue on two fronts – the first is the fitness blogger and the second is as a parent. Let me talk about this as a parent – if my daughter is overweight or obese and I haven’t noticed it – yes, I want the doctor to tell me. No, it won’t be easy to hear. Yes, I will likely get defensive and hostile – because I’m not doing my job – I am failing my child.
Fitness Requires Understanding
The issue here is self-perception, self-worth, self-awareness and self-esteem. Parents don’t want to be told that their child is overweight because it is damaging to their own self-perceptions. I can say this because I’ve seen it. Recently, I heard the story of a mother whose 8-year-old son weighed in at over 200 pounds. She was at the physician’s office to get a health release signed to allow him to attend a summer camp where he would be doing a number of extremely intense physical activities – the doctor refused to sign the release – the mother was incensed.
I can understand that a parent, recognizing that their child is overweight may seek to get them more exercise and become more involved with their child’s activities as a result – but sending a child that obese to a camp where they will be doing extreme activities can be as dangerous as doing nothing – if not more so.
Weight Issues Are Health Issues
As the fitness blogger, I want to look at the issues objectively. I’ve seen people who do not fall into the ‘svelte’ category, who are extremely fit and extremely healthy. Yes, they have extra weight, but they are internally healthy – I have also seen very fit, trim looking people who were in ill health because they did not take good care of themselves. So weight alone should not be a determining factor of health – but it is a factor that plays a role in health.
Few 8 year olds should weigh 200 pounds – if any. If a parent is not aware of their child’s weight issues – then yes, they should be informed. Too often, a parent is blind to the real problems if they are obsessing over their own. I can’t tell other parents how to behave towards their children, but a doctor can. A doctor can diagnose a health issue that could potentially become a problem.
If a child were to go into a pediatrician’s office and be diagnosed with cancer – the doctor would tell the parents. If a child were to go in and demonstrate symptoms of an eating disorder – the doctor would tell the parents. The point I’m trying to make here – is that parents need to armor themselves up and recognize that they want to be told this – they want this information when it can make a difference in their child’s life and before their health is damaged permanently and irreparably.
Does being told your fat make you feel good? No. Does being told that your weight is an issue and that there are some solutions and here are some suggestions for positive changes that you can make, help? Yes –possibly.
Parents need to know – in many cases they probably do know already – they just don’t want to admit it. How would you handle it if your doctor told you that your child was overweight or obese?
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