There are plenty of articles out there concerning the art of avoiding divorce, as if there were some magic formula that you could apply to guarantee that your marriage will not fail. I think we all eagerly read those bits of advice as a way of making sure that our marriages are on track. Or maybe we are struggling within our marriage and are looking for the secrets of avoiding divorce.
Well, let me through my two cents in here, although it might not be too popular. There are some times when divorce can’t or shouldn’t be avoided. Some people might argue this point, and while I do believe wholeheartedly in doing everything you can to keep your marriage strong, I still think divorce has its place. My formula is very simple. You should not try to avoid divorce if one or both partners are constantly hurting each other and all of the counseling and advice in the world has not changed a thing.
This hurt could be physical or emotional. If one partner is being physically abused by the other and continues to be, then divorce should not be avoided. This is especially true when there are children involved that need to be protected.
If one partner is constantly hurting the other through serial infidelity, emotional abuse or other means, then divorce should not be avoided. Couples can and do work through issues such as infidelity, but if one partner is constantly abusing the other in this way, then this is a form of abandonment in my book. The abuser really isn’t present in the marriage in any positive way.
Divorce is a terrible option, and I do advise that professional help is sought in any situation where there is talk of divorce, of course. Sometimes, though, all of the help in the world just doesn’t work. Sometimes the the health of the marriage has to be sacrificed for the health of the individuals, especially in a dangerous situation.
What do you think? Is there ever a time when couples should not avoid divorce?
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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