The last concern that we heard when we were starting the adoption process was a shocking one for me. I heard from some of our extended family that it is not possible to love an adopted child the same as you can a biological child.
I personally cannot understand that the idea is even out there in the universe. I do not have any children biologically but I cannot imagine loving them any more if I had given birth to them myself. When my daughter was about 1 she was diagnosed as failure to thrive, they kept running all these different tests on her. She had seen many different specialists she was tested for everything from cystic fibrosis to cancer screenings. I can’t even begin to tell you how scared I was with each and every test. I was always worried that this sweet little angel who was still not even officially mine would not be here for long.
Luckily for us it turned out that her biological mother’s lack of pre-natal care and pre-natal diet caused her to stay on the smaller side. She also had hypertonia which means that her muscles don’t get tight. Basically she is perfect for gymnastics; we call her our bendy girl.
The reason for this is to point out that it does not matter if they are your biological child or not the love and fear that you have for them is the same. I sat at her crib so many nights watching her sleep thinking that something was going to take her from our lives too soon. I sat and cried many times waiting for test results wondering if she would have a normal life, if she would get to grow up and have babies of her own.
She is a beautiful eight year old girl now and I can honestly say that I love her and her brothers so much that I can’t even begin to explain.