Parenting experts disagree vehemently on the issue of whether or not children should be paid for chores. Each side strongly believes that they are right, quoting studies and analysis that support their position. With such a polarized debate on the issue, what should parents think? How can they determine whether or not to pay their children for chores or to offer an allowance outright that requires no work conditions on the child’s part?
Let us take a look at both sides of the issue.
On the one hand, paying a child for chores rather than giving a free and clear allowance can prevent the child in believing in entitlement, (that he or she is entitled to money and privileges without work). This entitlement may lead children to think that they can get by in life without working hard or taking any responsibility.
By paying children for completing chores, parents can send the message that there is value in doing work, and you will get rewarded for it. Think of it as preparing a child for the eventual entering of the work force.
On the other hand, an argument can be made for not linking chores with an allowance. This doesn’t mean that children shouldn’t be given chores, just that chores should not equal payment. The thinking here is that children should be expected to help out around the house simply because they are responsible members of the family who should share in the workload. After all, parents don’t get paid for doing laundry, cooking or making home repairs.
If children are paid for chores, they soon may think that every job that they do requires a payment. A child may even start trying to negotiate on every little thing in terms of allowance, which not only can be annoying to the parents, but can cause friction with teachers, coaches and relatives.
So what is the bottom line, then, should parents pay for chores or not? Of course the final decision must be based on what the parents think would work best for their family, and it will probably be influenced by what they themselves learned and experienced as a child. Parents can successfully teach values using either method.
The best advice may be a compromise between these two positions. An allowance may or may not be given, but if given, then given without strings attached. At the same time, certain basic chores are expected to be completed. The consequences of not completing the expected chores would not be related to money but something else, such as a reduction in television time or other privledge. Along with this, opportunities to earn additional money through extra chores can be offered, allowing the child to make the choice to work or not to work for the additional funds.
With this method, children can get the best messages from both parenting strategies. They are both expected to contribute toward the household as a member of the family, and they see the value of working hard to earn money for the things that they want.