There was a time when homework and schoolwork was a family affair. My kids would settle down at the dining table and we would work on things together or, if they did the work at some other time, they would inevitably ask me to look things over or help in some capacity. Somewhere around the end of middle-school, my role quickly diminished and by high school, it is very rarely that my kids ask me for help with anything. It is generally just requests to sign things or get certain items or materials they might need for a project. I’m still available, and I periodically remind them of that fact–but mostly they just asked me to butt out. As a parent, it can be tough to decipher when that means you really should butt out, and whether or not you should still be checking homework and getting involved.
We all know that kids whose parents are involved in their education tend to do better in school and remain motivated to stay in school and finish–but what does “involved” mean as kids get older and more independent? I do think that we need to balance our involvement with their growing need to learn responsibility and take control of their own school work. We can still stay involved on the periphery, but the days of checking over and forcing them to do their homework will fade as the become older teenagers. Perhaps this isn’t what teachers want to hear–I know that I continue to get e-mails and information from high school teachers about checking my kids’ homework and projects, but I take more of a supportive back seat role now than that front row tutor that I used to be. I think that when children start asking for a parent to back off, and as long as they continue to show that they are following through on schoolwork, a parent can figure out how to be involved from behind the curtain. We can still follow up with teachers and make sure that work is getting done and lend our hand when requested, of course.
See Also: The EDUCATION Blog