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Showing Our Kids Our Vulnerable Side

When our kids are young most of the time they think we can do no wrong. They don’t consider that we might make a mistake or that we might have fears. I was talking with Tyler’s father yesterday and he heard me remark that I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I never imagined that rebuilding would be such a vast endeavor. As we end our second day in New Orleans, I feel like I have not accomplished much of anything. For instance, on yesterday I waited over two hours for someone to come to my house and measure for kitchen cabinets. She never came, didn’t call and didn’t answer her cell phone. Those wasted hours could have been spent doing something else. Unfortunately, it’s a common complaint among residents who are trying to rebuild. The other thing is the work on my house is not moving as quickly as I expected. Anyway, Tyler overheard me saying that not only did I feel overwhelmed but also a bit disgusted. I can understand why some people have chosen to start over elsewhere because getting the work completed is tough.

After I ended my phone call, Tyler asked me what overwhelmed meant. After I explained it to him, he seemed surprised that I wasn’t as perfect as he had envisioned. In his eyes, I suppose he figured I was this person who had it all together. I explained to him that sometimes parents have fears, worries and concerns and that’s okay. I told him that parents cry, feel sad and experience all the emotions that kids feel and that’s it’s okay because it makes us all human. I realized that in my quest to make him feel secure I had neglected to show my more human side. I definitely want him to realize that no matter what happens I will take care of him but I also want him to know that I’m really no different from him emotion-wise. Going forward, I realize that I don’t need to hide everything that I am feeling from him. Not that I need to share all of the trials I am experiencing but it’s okay to let him no that mom’s not perfect.

See also:

Single Parents Different Worries

Parents Have Emotions Too

Fear and Anxiety