“Mom, you don’t swing me by my feet anymore, because you are pregnant!” I heard this from my six year old daughter recently. She was expressing how upset she is that the changes in my body are making me no fun. She told me, “You used to be funner, but now Daddy is funner!” Apparently, it’s the baby’s fault that mommy isn’t fun anymore.
Her comments got me thinking about sibling jealousy. We often think of jealousy as a problem after the baby is born. But, it can be an issue during pregnancy as well. For Kacie, the changes in Mommy’s body are cutting in to her fun and really bothering her.
Don’t get me wrong, she is very excited about the impending arrival of her new baby brother. She talks about it every day. She just wants Mommy to have the energy and be able to play as much as before the pregnancy. She wants to be spun by her feet, carried and lifted as she was in the past.
While spinning by the feet is completely out of the question, I have been trying to find other fun things for us to do together. Like preparing for sibling jealousy after pregnancy, this takes planning. I’ve been trying to include her in more activities for “big girls.” This has helped take the focus off what we can’t do and put it on what we can do together.
One that has worked well is teaching her to cook. The other night, she learned to make meatballs. We made a double batch and put half of them in the freezer for after the baby is born. She has been enjoying spending time with me in the kitchen. I think she is realizing that, while Daddy had to take over the spinning by the feet responsibilities, she can still have fun with Mommy.