A child who is dealing with an attachment disorder usually has a history of self-parenting. When children think that only their own conclusions are dependable, they stop viewing the advice and teaching of other people as valid or important. Children with attachment disorders may have decided that the only person they can depend on is himself or herself. No one is credible to the child and no one has anything important to offer a them–in his or her thinking.
Some children with attachment disorders will decide to make all of their own decisions. Usually it turns out that their decision-making was flawed and they make one mistake after another. Constantly ‘in trouble’ for poor choices these child end up having lower self-esteem and other decision making errors.
Parenting a child who is having difficulty with their decision-making skills will require some clear ground rules. As parents, we need to establish the fact that our children need to “check-In” with us before doing anything. With my children, it’s galled “Picked Plans.” A plan is whatever a person is going to be doing for the next period of time. Going outside, playing music, taking a bath, eating a meal and any other section of time has to have a title.
When kids can’t Pick a Plan and tell parents what it is, then the parents can pick the plan for their child. Asking our children, “Hey What is Your Plan for the next half hour?” Gives the child a chance to make a decision and it gives many opportunities for the child to be given a happy permission.
Parents should always know where a child with an attachment disorder is at all times. There can be many impulsive behaviors and pair impulsive and the immature decision making skills of a child together and there will be unsafe and possibly horrible consequences. If the child is aware of the fact, they are always in your sight, and if the child objects or makes any negative remark parents can say, “How can I keep you safe if I don’t know where you are and what you are doing? After time the child learns adults can be trusted and that includes the decisions, the adults make.
This series of Blogs outlines many of the side effects children with attachment disorders may have. Side Effects of Attachment Disorders Series Introduction. Some of the side effects children with attachment disorders may include:
- Opposition.
- Control.
- Conscience Development.
- Stealing and Jealousy.
- Thinking errors.
- Anger and Rage.
- Feeling.
- Requesting and Meeting the Requests.
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For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.