There is a somewhat controversial article going around the internet about the “default” parent. Some people seem to relate to what it talks about. Others seem to feel that the concept does not (or should not) exist. What’s a “default” parent? Why is this concept generating online drama? Here are some signs that you might be the “default” parent in your household.
Writer M. Blazoned wrote a post titled The Default Parent on her blog. It has been cross-posted to Huffington Post. It is well worth taking the time to read.
The comments left on her blog are, for the most part, from people who can relate to the concept of the “default” parent (or who think they might be one). However, many of the comments over at Huffington Post, for the same piece of writing, have attracted a mix of responses. There are those who can relate to the piece. There are others who are posting impolite comments suggesting that it is the author’s own fault that she has become the “default” parent.
What’s a “default” parent? It has nothing to do with an unpaid loan. Writer Rebecca Savastio explains it in a piece called What is a Default Parent? that was posted on Liberty Voice. She defines the phrase this way:
A default parent is the one who when both spouses are together and present, and hear the child cry, gets up to tend to the child. It is the one who knows the name of the child’s friends, goes on field trips, organizes parties, bakes cupcakes for the class on the child’s birthday, frequently shops at stores such as Walmart and Staples for poster board and school supplies, and is a personal driver among other things.
If there is a “default” parent in a household, then the other parent is the “backup” parent. Which one are you? If the definition of “default” parent struck a chord, you might be the “default” parent. (Keep in mind that not all families have a “default” and “backup” parent. Some split parenting responsibilities fairly equally.)
You might be the “default” parent if:
* You are the parent who gets up in the middle of the night to tend to a sick child.
* You are the parent the children call for when they need help in the bathroom.
* You are the parent who gets asked where a lost item is at. Somehow, you know where it is at.
What if you are the “default” parent and you don’t want to be? You are going to have to retrain your family. Talk to your spouse and make it clear that you want the parenting responsibilities to be more equal. Together, come up with a specific plan that will enable changes to be made. Expect to spend time re-directing your children to the “backup” parent.
Image by Jon Seidman Flickr.
Related Articles:
* Diaper Detective – The Toddler Edition
* When Being Sick is Not an Option
* Who Does Most of the Housework?