“It’s easier to hear noise than silence.”
Wise words from a mom who is enjoying the end of summer, or more importantly, the end of the constant bickering between her seven-year-old son and his 10-year-old sister.
The new school year started in my neck of the woods this week and I’ve spent the last few days swapping summer war stories with other parents at morning drop-off and afternoon pick-up.
Moms with multiple kids were busy doing their happy dance, celebrating a temporary reprieve from the sibling squabbling they’ve refereed all summer.
As a mom of a singleton I am better versed in pre-adolescent whining and complaining rather than sibling quibbling. However, as the only girl growing up with three brothers, I have intimidate knowledge of what happens when you place partially mature human beings under the same roof and force them to get along.
Brothers and sisters share the same parents, rooms, toys and air; plus, they compete for the same privileges, compliments and attention. Of course, they’re going to clash.
There are times when the teasing, arguing and taunting can get really nasty, but if you take time to step away from your role as arbitrator you might discover that your kids are not really fighting as much as you think they are.
So often parents focus on the noise and the quiet times their children spend with each other slip by unnoticed. Hence, it’s easy to hear only the noise and not the silence.
Think about it; how long does it take for you to notice when your kids are “too quiet?”
When you are dealing with warring kids, silence can be as disconcerting as squabbling.
I once read that the “sibling bond can bend nearly in half before it breaks.” Coexisting with brothers and sisters boils down to this: You can’t live with each other but you can’t live without each other.
As for parents forced to deal with daily quibbling, don’t bother trying to deduce who did what to whom when and with what. Rather, you can preserve your sanity by establishing house rules for a fair fight. For example, no tattling allowed and all parties will receive equal consequences.
And if all else fails, relish the start of the new school year and the daily dose of silence you get to soak up as a result.